“Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.” ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

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How do you live in alignment with your heart?  How do you reconcile your deepest longings with your day-to-day life?  Why do so many people out there seem to have it “all together” and are living their dreams while the rest of us live in daily “drudgery”?  I don’t mean to say that my job in and of itself is drudgery.  I am grateful for a job, please don’t get me wrong, especially in this economy.  But….it is NOT my dream.  It is not what I ache to do day in and day out.  How do I reconcile that?  I can’t, having young children at home.  I love my boys dearly, and I need to have a good job to help pay the bills and provide for them financially and health-insurance wise.  But, does it follow my heart’s path?  No, sadly it doesn’t.  To be honest, how many of us “normal people” can honestly say we follow our heart’s desire?  I’m not talking about those people with whom money is no object, and why do we normal people really aspire to that?  I mean, to having money be no object?  Probably so we can follow our dreams and be who and whatever we want to be.  I watch shows on TV, like “Million Dollar Rooms” on HGTV.  These people spend upwards of $8 million or more on a pool…a POOL.  So they can have an indoor space to hang out in that has a POOL, and a refrigerator that is on an elevator and can lower from the kitchen to the POOL area with the flick of a switch..just so they don’t have to walk up 3 flights of stairs to the kitchen.  That depressed me (although it was pretty frickin’ cool), and I changed the channel.  It would be nice to have money be no object.  If money were no object, however, I wouldn’t have an indoor pool with a kitchen that can lower with the flick of a switch.  Why?  Because, it’s NOT IMPORTANT to life.  What would I do if money were no object?  I would open an art studio of my own, on the beach, and I would draw and paint all day long.  I would play my piano all day long and get better and better at it.  I would have walls lined with bookshelves to hold all of the books I want to read but don’t have the space or the time for.  I would have a pool, but it wouldn’t be an $8 million dollar one, because seriously, who really NEEDS to spend that kind of money on a POOL?   I would take my kids on trips if I had that kind of money, and I would help feed the homeless people (not a cliche’), because really, can you imagine how many homeless people you could feed with that kind of money?   I would travel to Europe and I would visit my soul-heart’s place of Ireland.  O’Brien’s Tower, to be exact, because I dreamt of that place before I knew it actually existed on earth, in reality.   There is so much I would do if money were no object.

Since money is an object though, how do I reconcile my heart wishes with every day reality of having a job, raising my boys, and living, breathing, focusing, drudging?   I paint when I can, I draw when I can, I play the piano when I come home for my lunch hour, and somehow make it back to work a slightly more sane person.  I smile at the person I am helping at the counter, or over the phone, knowing that we are all on this path and if someone smiles at you it somehow makes your day that much brighter.   I hug my kids that much tighter when I come home, knowing these precious few years before they are grown are just that…precious and few.  I buy them what I can when they ask for birthday gifts, hoping they appreciate the hard work I put into actually being able to pay for those things, and hopefully they will grow up and appreciate and learn how important it is to work hard for the things you have.   I teach them that love is more important than having an $8 million dollar pool in your home.  Helping them with their homework, even when I am exhausted from my busy day.  Giving them a “spelling test” so they can ace the one they have at school.  Encouraging them to go out for sports, even if they aren’t athletically-inclined.  Just so they know I believe in them and the value of stepping outside your comfort-zone.

I don’t know why part of me envies the ones that have all that money (and seemingly time) to have everything they want.  The wants I have are so simple and valuable to me, I just have to figure out how to make the time for them so they fall in line with what I need to provide right now.

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